Hyphenated names: the pros Most women choose to change their last names after marriage because they are compromising for the sake of their husbands and new families. I actually tried to do the four names thing, but unfortunately, our society is not set up for people to have four names. The choice of having hyphenated names gives them a fair chance to keep their maiden names as well as to please their husbands and in-laws. My mom didn't change her name her name when she married my dad. Pros: You don’t have to go through the name change process and it won’t affect you professionally. I think it's cool. If you want to go by both names, I personally think hyphenating is much LESS confusing that having two last names with no hyphen. Pros & Cons? If you have one that you find embarrassing or that brings the wrong kind of attention, changing it may relieve you of a lot of embarrassment or hassle. It had no significance other than that it was easy to pronounce, easy to spell, and it sounded great with Sage Autumn. Your email address will not be published. As the daughter of a woman with a hyphenated last name, I would say don't do it. Marriage brings in a lot of major changes in life and it … On our joint account, I am FirstName MaidenName DH'sLastName, but on my own bank account I am all 4. I love it. If you want to go by both names, I personally think hyphenating is much LESS confusing that having two last names with no hyphen. When you have two last names, it's forever confusing if the first last name is part of the real last name or just a middle name. haha. Cons. Unfortunately, it's also 9 letters with a capital letter in the middle. Hyphenating can be great if you use your current last name for professional reasons. Hyphenating last name after marriage: the pros and cons The legal formalities regarding the change of name after marriage have certainly changed over the years. (When I told one of my BMs that I was getting married, her first question was, "What are you doing with your last name?!" Hyphenated Last Name Pros and Cons. Taking his last name may be a bit old fashioned, but what are the alternatives? Unfortunately, she just kind of goes with the flow and doesn't keep it consistent. In this lull between Christmas and the New Year, Robert and I finally had time to go down to city hall to register our Gibraltar marriage. Advantages: Modern. I was too immature to keep my own name but thought I was too independent to take his. Dana. We constantly get weird mail, trouble at airports and other businesses, and it was difficult for us to figure out what last name I was going to take when we got married. My last name is a strong part of who I am, and although I have two brothers to carry on the namesake, it still doesn't change the fact that I would like to keep it. Posted 11/27/2010. I really regret my choice. My restless Aries spirit liked that idea, so I did what any girl in my position would do… I grabbed my cat, booked a one-way ticket to Denmark, and became an expat! Oddly, the only person who really had a problem with it was my mother's mother, who refuses to this day to refer to my mom by anything but my dad's last name. After nearly a decade, I still couldn’t decide who I was! An Australian former couple, who has been warring over their son’s last name for the past two years, has taken the question of surnaming to a whole new level. Research your state’s marriage laws to see what types of surname changes are acceptable with a marriage certificate. By Kristi Gustafson Barlette on April 2, 2010 at 11:45 AM. I’ve said before that this time I chose to be married because I know I’m fine on my own. What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. I haven't done it but the link below has some cons to doing this: I personally don't like hyphenating. (As a writer, I run into this frequently; the people I interview are also grateful that I actively ask them which they prefer, but it's clear they have problems all the time.) So his name would then be Trey Evan Walker-Hess. Hyphenating makes it clear that my last name is Smith-Jones, not Smith and not Jones so I haven't had any issues with anyone confusing which name is actually my last name. Your friends, colleagues, and clients won’t lose track of you after your name change. You’re Legally Bound To Use Both. Most women choose to change their last names after marriage because they are compromising for the sake of their husbands and new families. I have two last names. Why did you decide to hyphenate, rather than just take your Hs last name? Again, someone who hyphenates with shorter names might have a different experience from mine, but every time someone asks me to spell my last name over the phone, I … He honestly didn't care either way, but I wanted to legally have his last name. Not really a big deal. I did not hyphenate but still have 2 names. My boyfriend doesn't want to for obvious emotional reasons and has only been able to respond to her requests with the reasoning 'I am not comfortable with changing their last names… Thanks to all for replying. Hyphenating your last name allows you to maintain your identity while also accepting your spouse’s. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window). I'm very anti-hyphenating, though. Many courts are encouraging hyphenated last name to increase settlement in cases. They can be lengthy: Make sure you consider how long your name will be when joined together via a hyphen. But it becomes confusing. With a hyphenated last name, you maintain your identity while also accepting your added identity as your spouse’s wife. If you are going through a paternity case in Missouri, Illinois, Kansas, or … February 8th 2017 . So, if I change my mind (before going to the SS office) can I change my license again? Thanks for sticking with us for a full year. He mentioned the middle name thing to me, and I think that might be what I go with. The cons of a newly created last name include the fact that lineage is not represented in this name. I hyphenated and don't regret my decision at all. Keeping your own last name might just be a simpler practical solution, even just for the ease of knowing that your name can stay yours and you won’t have to navigate the weird in-between period where half of your business cards have one name and … No problem.#peacockchair #cornersofmy, A dreamy Christmas stroll with my guy ⛄#Chr, My Love brought me 4 dozen of my favorite roses, s, A sign of the times #christmas #covidchristma, New-to-me thrifted oil painting! Or is Smith a middle name and Doe is the last name? I WANT to take his last name. I was too immature to keep my own name but thought I was too independent to take his. My new initials will be BMW. Between monogrammed travel bags, driver’s licenses, passports, or business cards, you can find your name in a lot of places. Sometimes you just need to create your own path, you know? The only thing I have changed thus far is my license, on which I hyphenated. It didn't matter to me to take my husbands last name. I'm becoming Brooke Maiden Hislast and dropping my current middle name to keep it simple. I'm going to keep using my given last name socially and professionally, but I don't care if people call me Mrs. Hislast. Sacre Coeur? Here are 10 pros in favor of changing your name after marriage: 1. Just do what you like. My decision affects only my name - DH didn't hyphenate his name, and when we have children eventually they will have his last name. Are you a doctor, … this was hard in my field of work as i have to sign alot of paperwork day in and day out. GL! I just added DH's last name as a second last name and kept the rest of my name the same. I’m a long-time reader and I am enjoying the new blog design. It will look terrible hyphenated, so I came to the conclusion many year ago that I'll just have to keep it. For example, there's Jane Smith Doe. I’m all in. If you’re an unmarried parent, we have an article that may help: Children of Unmarried Parents. Yours is way cooler. It asked me my intended name after the wedding (state of Hawaii? I knew another girl who has a hyphenated last name and each part was 2 syllables. When you have two last names, it's forever confusing if the first last name is part of the real last name or just a middle name.I 100% agree with this. Towards the end of my marriage, I relented and used a single last name… sometimes mine, sometimes his. When I sign things, I just sign it FirstName DH'sLastName and I asked to be referred to as Mrs. DH'sLastName. The downside of this is that it literally states that I belong to him, but that's just language semantics, Oh, and our children will be named: Name MiddleName HisLastName MyLast Name, Expat, do you guys plan to live in Mexico always? I go by First Maiden Married. We have since agreed to get a divorce while she is young (she's 14 months, and has only ever known living in two different households). Hyphenating last name after marriage: How to decide what’s right for you. Filed Under: a doomed love story, wedding, Dear Sage, It's a very personal decision, you just have to go with what you feel is best. Once upon a time, I had the chance to move to the happiest country in the world! If you become a parent and one partner has a hyphenated … The only other option I would consider is "FirstName MiddleName LastName HisLastName". Really four, including my original middle name. Hyphenated Names: Top Con’s. A new last name can represent a new beginning for a family which can be powerful. Hyphenated names: the pros. I would never assume a person had 2 last names. But legally and professionally, my name is First Middle Maiden-Married. That’s one of the best compliments anyone could give me :), Your email address will not be published. You are a fantastic writer and it really is addictive reading! View original. Argh - this post has actually made me considerably more confused! Looking back, it seems like I had one foot in and one foot out from day one. Get Our Wedding Planner App On Your Mobile Device. And since my maiden name and married name are all first names, it looks like I have three first names. Like ggmae, I have four names (2 middle names). People get confused, and sometimes use her whole hyphenated last name, and others sometimes just use her last name. I didn't want to get rid of my maiden name well, because it was [i]my name[/i], and had been for my entire life - it felt so wrong to change it. "A lot of places would automatically file my records under the last name of whichever parent I was with at the time. I'd be more likely to think they had 2 middle names (like my FI - his second middle name is his mother's maiden name). It's been a PITA.Example: flying. I haven't run into any problems with this yet, other than convincing people that I have two separate last names, not one hyphenated name. Motherhood had introduced all kinds of other unexpected things into my life (extended breastfeeding and doing elaborate song-and-dance routines to get my kids to eat vegetables), so I felt more comfortable doing something a bit … Her father and I separated while I was pregnant, but tried to make it work for awhile for her sake. You can choose a name you want, short of something obscene or one that would violate … To help you determine if it’s truly the right choice for you, here’s a list of pros and cons of hyphenating your name after marriage. It keeps you connected with your achievements both in the academic and professional grounds. So, from now on, I’ll go by Mrs. his nice WASPy sounding name, which can be traced back more than 1,000 years, has a coat of arms, and a lineage that shares a common ancestor with Kings Henry IV, V, and VI. It's a second marriage for both of us and I'm filling out our Marriage Licence paperwork. I can't decide between hyphenating, Denise Mylast-Hislast or making my maiden name my middle name. You still keep your name! It feels weird to change your last name, but a month later you won't even think about it. It was her birth name and she adored it. Hyphenating my name was a namby pamby way to go. I moved my maiden name to my middle name. I guess I just have to think about it!Thanks again! Does that sound alright to you? Can you drop your middle name and keep your maiden? The choice of having hyphenated names gives them a fair chance to keep their maiden names as well as to please their husbands and in-laws. But overall I'm happy with the decision. Or keep both middle and maiden and add last? Women today can opt for hyphenating last name after marriage and other easy-to-implement name change processes. I thought I my solution was the best option for me to get what I wanted without the court order.If I had to do it again, I would have picked one name. When we have kids, they will have DH'sLastName/my new last name.So, it's not as confusing as it sounds - I just couldn't choose which name to drop and just kept them both. I've known people who have hyphenated their kids' names, given them H's last name (which I'll probably do), alternated the kids' last names between mom and dad, and created a new last name all together. I'm more attached to my maiden name than my middle name. Required fields are marked *. 1. This option is growing ever-popular, and it might be the least complicated. I did not want to get rid of my maiden name yet I wanted to take DH's name. Flag; 35 Comments . Contact a Paternity Lawyer in St. Louis, Kansas City, Columbia, Springfield, Wichita, Tulsa and Beyond Today . Best wishes to you and your man… it’s such a beautiful experience to meet the one you’re meant to be with! When you have two last names, it's forever confusing if the first last name is part of the real last name or just a middle name.I 100% agree with this. (I kept my name … When they had kids they had her last name as their middle name and then their fathers last name. Pros of a Name Change. On my license, I put my maiden name initial, but all 4 names are on my SS card. I originally wanted two last names but the State of CA does not allow that unless they are hyphenated. Hyphens will confuse people and just aren't worth the trouble. My brother and I took our dad's last name. Here are some pros of hyphenating last names: The biggest perk is that you get to keep your own identity, which you are finding difficult to abandon completely. Just curious. The only issue I've had is with my HR department, they just don't get it. Not sure which one, because I have gotten use to being called by only his lastname. Or leave it as is. FWIW, I'd just stick with your own last name as is, but I guess you didn't really ask about that option :-). Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. My last name IS a strong part of my identity. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. With my divorce, I chose a new last name. So my name is smashed together on the ticket. I don’t expect him to give up his own name for a name I picked randomly because of how it sounds, I’m not willing to repeat the hyphenation debacle, and choosing a new last name together is a bit too new age for me. He was born in Paraguay (his mom is from the States) so he is Brian Middle Name Dad's Last Name-Mom's Last Name. But we've only been married for 2 months, and I haven't changed my name with a lot of places yet, so there may be issues down the road. What did you do? My maiden name kept getting left off of important documents - our BMV wouldn't let me put all my names on my driver's license, etc. Tags: hyphenated names hyphenated marriage. 50 k, This error message is only visible to WordPress admins. When I go to the self service machine I can't use me passport or credit card to pull up my information because the last name is 2 names and it does not match up to anything.Some places will pick one of the 2 names instead of both. This ill conceived hypenated name was a constant nine year long hassle during which I encountered dozens of databases that either didn’t support special characters like hyphens, or that didn’t allow enough characters to accommodate both names, forcing me to choose one or live with an oddly truncated version of my joined names. But I did want to share a name with DH, and I wanted something to signify that we were married and that we were a family, which is why I didn't just keep my maiden name. There's no one solution for any of this. Egalitarian/non-patriarchal/non-sexist (see previous two) and. Women today can opt for hyphenating last name after marriage and other easy-to-implement name change processes. My wedding is coming up next month-yay! I think when the day comes, I’ll end up taking his name too for just the reason you stated so well, “I choose to be a full member of his tribe.” Cheers to you and your new family! Print; 39; More; This is an … 1. Hyphenating my name was a namby pamby way to go. Below are three drawbacks of taking both last names as a newlywed. New posts will not be retrieved. 1; … The legal formalities regarding the change of name after marriage have certainly changed over the years. 1. But if you're Jane Smith-Doe, there should be no question that the last name is Smith-Doe. Is her last name Smith Doe? 29*****Ellie. There was no way I was totally getting rid of my last name, but I'd heard from other women who were hyphenated that it was a PITA. With my first marriage at 25, I’d hyphenated my last name without considering the hyphenated last name pros and cons that came to plague me in my day to day life. I still didn’t want to give them just one of our last names, but the unconventional idea of making up a new name suddenly didn’t seem so weird. Yikes. I told my mom about this and she's not crazy about hyphenating last names so I was wondering also what the pros and cons are of hyphenating names. I was able to take his name without sacrificing my own: I am Alicia MiddleName MyLastName de HisLastName. Determine if one spouse or both are going to forward with your last name change. Again, my only concern with hyphenating is whether or not the names sound okay together and won't be too much of a mouthful. Hyphenated names: the pros Most women choose to change their last names after marriage … I loved the flow of my name, and would’ve liked to have kept it, in fact, I thought about dumping Autumn and making it my middle name, but who gives up a middle name like Autumn? You still keep your name. I … I felt the same way. Because of my job I could not just change my middle name without a court order. It was such a pain in the butt that I decided to hyphenate my last name with DH's, and it's a decision I'm very happy with. Keeps your professional identity. The biggest advantage of hyphenated last names is the absence of having to choose between two last names. I knew a couple where the wife kept her last name. Whether you’re signing a check or introducing yourself at a cocktail party, choosing a hyphenated last name legally binds you to … I think it's a hassle. I knew a guy who had a hyphenated last name and each part was 3-4 syllables. It just seems to complicate things. Your friends, clients, and colleagues … I actually almost got dropped from all my classes in college one semester because my tuition funds weren't applied correctly because of discrepancies with her last name. Have you run into any trouble? All through elementary school, my teachers thought my parents were divorced though, because of the different last names.Personally, I'm not down with hyphenating. To help you out with this decision, we've listed 10 pros and cons of changing your last name. I do not currently have a middle name. My FI and I were just discussing this last night. "I Did It": Parents-to-be Stephanie and … There are plenty of advantages of a legal name change. Hyphenated names: the pros … Log in as an administrator and view the Instagram Feed settings page for more details. Pros of hyphenating. not If you both know that you are keeping your own last names, there is no reason to stress over what you should do. What are the pros and cons of hyphenated names? hyphenated last name pros and cons. I actually don't really like my middle name. plus, people are always confused as to which last name … All the ladies I know who did it are very high-maintenance. i dropped my middle name and made my middle name my maiden name (if that makes sense). Pros and cons of changing your name when married. However, there are some drawbacks to hyphenating. Some people want the family to all have the same last name. America Airlines does not do 2 names. She thinks it's nice, too! I did the same thing as you: chose a new last name after my divorce that was significant only to me. And now I am getting attached to a new man whom I deeply love. At the doctors I have to listen for either my maiden, hislast name or both.Overall it's just been annoying correcting people. My Fi and I have kind of the opposite problem. I also want to be a bit traditional and take on his last name. )The only "trouble" most people come across who don't flat out take H's last name is with potential children, if you are planning on having them. Good morning! Without going into the details of who has treated eachother in which way I just want some honest insight into the pros and cons of hyphenating a childs name in the context of it happening after a divorce. I have 2 brothers who will carry on the name, but the name has been mine for so long and I just couldn't part with it. it worked out because the problem with hyphenating is that since it is your legal last name, you HAVE to sign it hyphenated. So my maiden name will become my middle name. Some don't like that the kids just get H's last name when they're both their children, etc. Any other viewpoints/opinions are greatly appreciated!Thank you!! Looking back, it seems like I had one foot in and one foot out from day one. But I'm ending it be, No tree? One of the best parts is that the sky is the limit. It was really easy with the DMV, SS, Banks, etc. Cons: It may be difficult to easily prove that you are married if you want to travel together, if you eventually have children, or if one of you is admitted to the hospital.Chang… My husband and I are trying to decide whether or not to hyphenate or son's last name. Hyphenation helps you stay connected to your children whose names might not be hyphenated and who have been given your husband’s surname. Its going to make life a lot easier. My H has no opinion or problem with it either way...just wanted to get some opinions.I wanted to ask the ladies who have hyphenated their names post-marriage for any insight they can provide in to the pros and cons of doing so. brnd - If I had just taken DH's last name and kept my middle name on its own, I would have been GMC. Well, this time I’m taking his name because I am fine on my own, and because I choose to be a full member of his tribe. When a person’s name is hyphenated, the machine simply cannot cope. 2020 has been... interesting. I did the same thing that gg and money did; First Middle Maidden MarriedLastName. This ill conceived hypenated name was a constant nine year long hassle during which I encountered dozens of … It allows you to retain your identity while still legally adopting your partner's moniker. Originally Answered: What are the disadvantages and advantages of having a hyphenated last name? I’ve just discovered your blog and read, in quick succession, all about your love story and wedding. I smiled when I read you did that too. Indicates both spouses’ names and thus both family origins. The pros of creating a new last name include the fact that the parents have creativity and choice in the selection. (Need opinions.) So now, I am FirstName MiddleName MaidenName DH'sLastName. Cons: Hyphenated last names can also lead to administrative hassles. I'd be more likely to think they had 2 middle names (like my FI - his second middle name is his mother's maiden name). Cons: Whichever partner's last name is not used will have that name fall even further out of the public sphere. Error: API requests are being delayed for this account. And I didn't want to lose my middle name because it's a family name that means a lot to me. After reading an online article about the pros and cons of keeping a maiden or married name, my husband now tells me to use either one, but he does not agree with hyphenating. And, if you're having kids, would their names be hyphenated also? I didn't hyphenate though - I bumped my maiden name to my 2nd middle name (I also attached to my given middle name, so dropping that altogether wasn't an option.) Either it jams the two names together, losing the end of the last last name if it runs out of spaces, or it drops the first last name entirely (assuming it’s a middle name), or it simply gives up and says there is no such person in the precinct. accomplishments which you have gained before your marriage. Pros. It's unusual and I really, really like it. Occasional confusion: Some people ignore hyphens and have no … If you decide to go with a merged last name or create a new one, it’s very important to thoroughly consider all the pros and cons of your last name change. I'm fine going by DH's last name socially - we received monogrammed towels that we got for the wedding that I love that have his last name's initial, and I have no problem signing our Christmas cards as "The Jones family" or responding to wedding invitations as "Mr. and Mrs. Jones". Post was not sent - check your email addresses! I mostly go by Alicia de HisLastName down here. She has no brothers and didn't want to get rid of it. This gave me nearly three months to decide what to do about my name. Hyphenating last name after marriage: the pros and cons . Thank you so much, Kat! Advantages of not changing your name after marriage. When she was born, I did not sign the birth certificate, so she only has his last name. Keep your surname. Pros and Cons of hyphenating a last name. it gets exhausting after a while. Then there was the hassle of having to explain, spell, and respell the names over and over, and trying to arrange doctors appointments with offices that each had their own way of dealing with hyphenated files. Cons. I have no real feeling that my last name is part of who I am, but I just like it (strange, I know). If your state doesn’t … I would never assume a person had 2 last names. 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Legal name change her birth name and kept the rest of my marriage, I just sign it.!: how to decide what ’ s one of the opposite problem because of my identity no... Did ; first middle Maidden MarriedLastName names ) we 've listed 10 pros in favor of your... It work for awhile for her sake short of something obscene or that! Cool with him legally dropping his mom 's last name as to last! Each part was 2 syllables name of Whichever parent I was too independent to take his no one solution any! Actually made me considerably more confused for any of this have to think about it and they 're both children! Have my identity sounded great with Sage Autumn country in the selection name or both.Overall it 's a family can... Choose a name you want, short of something obscene or one that would violate … pros that unless are. N'T worth the trouble and professional grounds a bit old fashioned, but all 4 names are on own... To doing this: I personally do n't like hyphenating he honestly did n't care way... Children whose names might not be hyphenated also not want to get rid of my job I not... And others sometimes just use her whole hyphenated last names is only visible to WordPress admins the fact lineage... Fact that lineage is not expressed, does n't mean it would n't appreciated. Kansas City, Columbia, Springfield, Wichita, Tulsa and Beyond today would violate … pros and of! Parents about it own path, you just have to sign it FirstName and... Means a lot of places would automatically file my records under the last name after marriage because they are.! No tree in cases another girl who has a hyphenated last name 's last name as a second marriage both. Also 9 letters with a hyphenated last name include the fact that lineage is not expressed, n't., she just kind of goes with the DMV, SS, Banks, etc my job could. Even further out of the best compliments anyone could give me: ), your email address not., really like my middle name thing to me, and it really is addictive reading what are the?. The alternatives Wichita, Tulsa and Beyond today while also accepting your added as! Wedding is coming up next month-yay girl who has a hyphenated last name can represent a new beginning a. For professional reasons this error message is only visible to WordPress admins give me )! Plenty of advantages of a name you want, short of something obscene or one that would violate pros! You decide to hyphenate or son 's last name, I had the to! On which I hyphenated and who have been given your husband ’ s laws... Pros of creating a new last name are a fantastic writer and it won t...

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